Now playing: She wolf by David Guetta ft. Sia

Dear all, excuse the language I'm about to use. I don't normally use it but I need to get this off my chest, once and for all.

Fuck them feelings. No matter how hard I try, they're still there. It's so foolish, so stupid of me to still be here when you've already gone, far far away. 

Not that easy you said. Look where you are now. Give it a month you said. On one hand, thank goodness I pointed out that one flaw. If not, I would've been hurt much deeper than this. But on the other hand, if I hadn't pointed it out, where would we be now? That, will forever remain unknown. Of course, thinking through all that had happened and now that I've seen the light, I think it might possibly be a blessing in disguise.

Fts, if only it was that easy to leave it all behind. Countless times I've said I won't let it affect me anymore. But somehow, it just comes back. How long is this going to take? Why did you give me so much to remember? Like how you wanted to be so special. Like how we clicked so well and we couldn't stop talking. Like how we went out that one time, that one night when it all started going downhill without my knowledge and one day, BAM. And then you told me to move on. And few days later you came back and I was so fucking dumb to let you back in, to light that little candle of hope I had. And in a few days, when I pointed out that flaw, you told me to let go again. What am I to you? A toy that you can play with then leave aside when you decide to play with something else?

All that being said, you'd think it'd be easier for me to move on. Oh hell no. And I have no idea why either. Could it be that you gave me too much hope to begin with? Could it be the fact that I'm dying inside everytime I think about it and you seem perfectly fine? Or that I fell way too deep while you were actually just playing around? A girl takes everything a guy says seriously. What you say and what you do, it's all taken in. I may not have a good memory but boy is this all hard to forget. I still don't get how it's so easy for you. I still don't get how you can move from one person to another so quickly.

I was probably too gullible and believed everything you said. What hurts is that when I think about it, everything seems to be a lie because how else can you explain everything that is happening?

No more. I have to make it, and I will. Heck, I have no choice. And even if I did have a choice, I will most certainly not go back. Now, I just gotta get rid of that tiny thread I have that's stuck.

Anybody got a really sharp scissors? Like, really really sharp.