Are they really?

No I'm not out of my mind. I dont mean that I want to keep on studying. Not at all. I dont want it to end because once it ends, the next thing that's coming would be my results. (&the last Harry Potter movie omg) For the past few days, I've been thinking a lot. What if I dont do well? What if it ends up like last time? Last semester, there I was, being pretty confident that I did pretty well for most of the papers, but I ended up getting beaten down to the ground. Hopes and dreams dashed! Okay it wasnt THAT bad but still, I was really disappointed. What if I dont get what I have hoped for? What if I get really bad results? What if this and what if that.

What ifs normally ends up bad.

I really dont want to be disappointed again. I dont know why but I feel like I want the whole thing to start again. I want to really really make sure i dont do careless mistakes which i have done in a few of my papers unfortunately ): I keep thinking about what'll happen if I end up getting bad results. I roughly think back about any mistakes or uncertainties there were and try to make up imaginary results to see how much i need to get to get an A.

I'm really worried. But i know there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all. What's the point of thinking about it? There is NO point thinking about it. But I just cant stop thinking about it! I'm stressed, agitated & moody thanks to this.

I need this to end because, I think I've tried my best. Except for 1 where I know I could've done better if I studied harder. Biology 5, worst paper ever in my opinion. I was rushing while the people around me were casually flipping through to check. I knew I was screwed.

Now there's one last paper to go. Might as well make the best out of it to have a good end. I cant be feeling like this till I get my results in August. That's just torture! But now that I think about it, I thought I did well for my last paper last semester but it ended up being the worst. Like whaaaat? -.-

Oh god, bless me.